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Mr. Bahr


Posts : 308
Join date : 2007-08-09
Age : 30
Location : Kaneohe Bay MCBH , HI

PostSubject: Short Stories   Thu Aug 16, 2007 2:43 am

THE KHAKI RIDER-a story of randomness with guest appearence by Ninjas!!!

It was a dark and cloudy night when I saw the RIDER IN KHAKIS. I had been conversing and driving when i saw, in the white light of my headlights, a giant orange and white figure riding a Harley motorcycle. Upon closer inspection i found out that this was indeed a VERY large man riding a bike in a bright orange shirt and khakis. I wondered who is this man, what does he do, and most importantly...WHY THE HELL DOES HE WEAR AN ORANGE SHIRT AND KHAKIS ON A BIKE!
The story of the KHAKI RIDER is an ancient tale of magic and misfortune. The KHAKI RIDER began as a simple person just like you and i but one day he inherited some money from a relative and bought himself a Nissan Sentra. He drove his Nissan Sentra for a couple of months but decided that his job at Big Boys hamburger stand and dull Nissan Sentra were just not for him. So he decided to cull the newspaper for a motorcycle that fit his need to be wild on the open road, but to his dismay there was no motorcycle rugged enough to satisfy him. So with great wrought misery he took the money from selling his Sentra and went to Iron Skillet where he could dine upon all you can eat dogs ass food for the rest of his life. He ate and lived at Iron Skillet for 5 years till one day the manager there realized there was an overweight man in the back eating all the food. So the Khaki Rider was kicked out(who at that time my sources say was named Phil Bobodenski) and had to find some where else to live since he couldn't go back to his old life. Well it was at this time that Phil met a man by the name of Stinkpig the Mad, a ruthless biker who was known for being tough. Stinkpig asked Phil if he would like to buy 3 magical spark plugs from him and Phil thought that spending his last 4 grand on 3 spark plugs was not a good deal, but Phil wasn't really that smart and ended up buying them anyway.
Now that Phil had his spark plugs he didnt know wat to do so he buried them in the ground and waited...and waited..........and waited for about a month then something happened. It turned out that the spark plugs weren't magical but were in fact stolen by Stinkpig and now they were rusted in the ground. The End...just kidding actually the mound that Phil made for the spark plugs was in the middle of a gravel road and when a man on a motorcycle came by he hit that bump in the road and flew off his motorcycle into a pond and was eaten alive by tad poles and a giant Sea Turtle named Tim. Now Phil had his bike but no riding clothes to speak of, his clothes had long been overdue to be changed so where would he go to get new clothes? The XL store was his only option because it not only catered to his size but had brand name clothes at affordable prices. When Phil arrived at the store he was surprised to see that it was in fact being attacked by NINJAS! They were stealing clothes to make uniforms out of and all they left were bright colored orange shirts and bright white khaki pants(this is obviously because even though Ninjas do have "Casual Fridays" they don't like the color orange and well no one likes khakis). So Phil had to make due with the orange shirt and khakis.
Some say this tale is "make believe", or that its just a "half truth", but these people would also say that a band named "Jimmy and the Gazm" doesn't exist either and well we know that they are horribly wrong. Anyways if you search hard enough maybe you will see Phil (THE KHAKI RIDER ) and when you do remember this tale and how he came to be.......
The End...fo' real
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